<+_::The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return::

Thursday, September 09, 2004

b4 i forget. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARHAN NORDIN!!

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
9:46:00 PM

o mann. i 'm so dead. yes. DEAD.

like WOW. band test tomorrow. and i havent realli done a single thing. shit. i'm realli sorri Mr Lim if i screw it up big time tomorrow. haiz. i cant do it. it doesnt get into my mind. yehh. my fault. should have planned my time lor. haiz. ok. so now. can only pray for e best. yehh. think maybe my scales i will do better than my last test bahz. but i will take an awfully long time de. lolz. good luck to me.

yehh. today went for church care group thingy. yehh. one of the games were like we were being blind folded then had to find our groups. that one was realli cool. haha =D yehh. then blah blah blah. during care group.. we played " Hi, Hello " and i kana =X lolz. forfeit lorr. eek. everyone went to draw on my arms. lolz =X lucky now its off le. haha =X yepz. had like a mini party too lorr. haha. =D me and cindy r so siaoz. keep laughing. yepz. then after care group .. i pei wenyan to yew tee park play badminton a while. bout 1/2 hour lor. then went home. here i m. staring into the screen. and thinking. SHIT. GONNA SCREW UP TOMORROW.

yehh. my band fren shuyi from clarinet at bn juz msged mi on msn. yehh. hope i get into your group too =D haha. seriously i hope this competition wont bring in any quarrels or conflicts. plzz dont. haiz. lolz. o man. i hope for the best tomorrow.

i 'm dead. mr lim is sure to scold mi de. very sure. o well. its realli my fault. should have realliiii planned my time well. yehh. and i'm prepared for the scolding. yeh. i need it. hmm. i remembered last year my scales section screwed up big time. and mr lim said something like this was not what he expected from me or something lor. felt like letting him down very badly. and tomorrow. i'm gonna do it again??? gonna let him down so badly tomorrow? yeh. very badly. i'm sorri. yes. i know. sorri no cure. i know.

and the bn said that those who came out of the room were mostly crying. o well. i cant cry tomorrow. i cant. crying = defeated. i'm not going to be defeated. yeh. i will have to try much harder if i realli cant do it tomorrow. yehh. but i cant kip doing this. think i nid someone to push me. yes. i'm a PASSIVE one. haiz. and i know i shouldnt be. and i'm damn blardy disappointed at myself.

o yeh. my violin teacher told mi if i dont make it in time for theory. he still let mi go up to grade 7 next year. haiz. i HATE grade 7. coz the scales are impossible. yes. but seriously. i cant give up violin becoz of SCALES. yes. as mr lim said b4 " we must cross the line coz its juz a small barrier of our life " . this year is my first level advanced year. guess tts why i'm so tensed up with everything i learn this year. still. i made it through foundation. i made it through intermediate. and i WILL make it through advance. yeh. so i cant juz becoz of scales then give up everything. its very STUPID. and FOOLISH . but still. thank goodness he told mi this. coz i'm not so stressed over violin anymore coz of that. imagine me going crazi over theory everyday. sheez. and i have 2 major major major music events + streaming in october. and i dont know what to do now. for the first time in my life i'm stressed. but i'm sure this cant be compared to sec 4 o level. yeh. so i shall pray for sec 4s. JIA YOU =)

but after this band test. i have to make sure. EVERDAY. must practice every single instrument. yes. every single one. i HAVE to. my October and December depends on all of them. it realli does. and i seriously nid to learn how to balance my studies too. yeh. think i have to ask yiin ying later. yehh. her schedule work wonders. coz she has de discipline. and i dont have. YET. i'm going to HAVE to have it. soon. before my music breaks down like it has nv before.

// yeh. i know u dont like her but i'm still going to be her fren even if u dont wan mi to. everyone needs frenz. even her.

// yepz. sorri i couldnt go for the movie.

// and i cant make it for that either. my schedule is too tight le. with october. sorri again.

and i dont know watz gonna happen tomolo. and i dont intend to.

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
9:39:00 PM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

ahh. back. from. band. le. haha =X

today band was kinda good =D yehh. hmm. i noticed that everday it juz gets better and better de lor. haha. =D hmm. zeting's solo improved =D well. SEC 2s ROX. haha. hmm. then went through de rehearsal stuff fer our exchange with bedok north. haha. mr lim said bedok north is playing American Elegy . wahh. realli looking forward to it. too bad oni our seniors got to play it last time. sheez. lolz. think mr lim considering one of de opus pieces as SYF choice piece lehz. wahh. lolz. hmm. then mr lim wanted to go through Marche Slave mahz. yar. we were like WHAT? lolz. so many notes flying all over my score. haiz. some more its so high >.< blehh. but. i learned how to tone down my high notes today le. =) yehh. haha. and to think i thot it was so hard ^_^ lolz. then he left lor. then we all stayed back a while to practice our Etudes. haiz. hate competitions >.< and i cant memorise. dieee. ya qing like. memorised it so fast lorr. lolz. hmm. yehh. then all of sudden. its like. we all kinda played Abba Gold all on our own. lolz. siaoz de us. yeh. and i was sitting beside zhenjun. and his f.horn playing. wahh. damn nice lor. *applause* lolz.
eek. mr lim still havent confirm de Opus de repetoire. wonder when. kuai dian. lolz.

ama told me. de opus date . changed to 31st december liaoz. last day of year sia >.< lolz. ze ting's birthday oso. haha. yehh. and we were like eating at lot 1 mahz . and i was whining and whining on bout WHYYYY. lolz. i told all my classmates 30th le mahz >.< lolz. haiz. must tell again bahz. lolz. bedok north de concert 3rd december mahz. tickets at $15 and $10. haha. who want =D lolz.. hmm. dunno our rgtband concert how much sia. lolz. must go find out le. haha.
hmm. yes. me and siying have decided. one week b4 Opus 2. CUT HAIR. omg. not cut till short short lar. bout. erm. shoulder length. haha. and we'r both wearing glasses on that day coz i refused to give in and when siying ask me to wear contact lens on Opus . haha. i win lar. lolz. we'r gonna look a lot like each other. like ms sng said. lolz. eek. hope all my frenz get recognize me bahz. dont gao luan worx. haha.

ahh. zhenjun has been bugging mi to get him a french horn soft case on his birthday . yeh. i thot it was cheap. until he said it was $100+ . i was like. hmph. lolz. his birthday 21st oct sia. aiyah. >.< lolz =X hmm. and minfang wants me to buy her drumsticks. [not de one u eat... de drum set one] okkkk. all of a sudden i have become santa claus le. lolz =X

hm. ke xin[sec2] was like telling mi bout how stressed her brother is . yeh. o levelz mahz. maris stella band de somemore. lolz. then its like. she said that once her brother returnz from school. straight away go study non stop sia. >.< so scary. ya. and she dont dare talk a lot to her brother le. scared disturb mahz. haiz. poor all sec 4s. after o levelz must celebrate like siaoz le =D

i miss my mummy to bits. sobz. [btw mummy=grace , mother/mum=my REAL mum. haha.] she studying now worx. so hardworking. unlike meee. such a bad daughter i am. haiz. lolz. anyway. my teddy daddy misses her too. lolz =X

anddd. the boy after me is in the violin quintet thingy too. wahha. and teacher says that he is the only one playing the same part as me. so i'm supposed to guide him or something. like. wow. haha. excited ^_^ lolz

WeEeEeE =D mom saw my report book. and she's really happy. haha. =D i rawk. and b4 i said anything she said she would buy me de drama VCD i wanted very much since last year. OMG. MOM I LOVEEEE UUUU !!!!!!!!! =D so happy*

back from jocelyn's hse. haha. so fun. me hajar kexin and jocelyn. were like crapping around like siaoz. omggg. her room so nice sia =X me so jealous. lolz =X // hmm. i dont know. r u?

// yepz. i oso want invite de. then like. aiyah. lolz.

// xie xie zeting for drawing fer mi a display pic ^_^

feeling so sick. why so many ppl leaving band at this point of time. one by one. haiz.

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:09:00 PM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

weEEeEeeEe =D excited. yehhs. lolz.

hmm. excited bout band camp nite. yehh. maybe not be excited bout de band test, band etude exchange cometition or wateva audition thingy. but heyy. i'm excited bout band camp NITE. lolz. yehh. sec2s gonna be telling ghost stories to each other at nite worx >.< haha. exciteddd. while everyone watching de horror movie. we will not be =X haha. hmm. charles oreadi planned out where we shud go . yehh. the school's most haunted spot. haha. EXCITED man.

today fer band. quite good. lolz. played de 3rd movement yehh. haiz. felt so shi bai. coz all de high high notes fer my Eb clarinet i cannot hit lor >.< then mr lim still say somemore " this song sounded nicer [this year] than last year coz now we have the full woodwind section. " then he points out to de oboe, bassoon and Eb clarinet. >.< aiyah. die. de first note alreadi so high. haiz. but then finally managed to play out de note. and mr lim was like smiling i think. lolz. its like. when the brasses playing loud loud that time then i dare to blarst out that high note. which yehh. turns out kinda soft but its in the balance. =) yehh. but i must force it out de. eek. haiz. to make it worse. de 6/8 bars are all de notes EVEN higher than before de. >.< yehh. but. i MUST STILL TRY. yes. i MUST. cannot let mr lim down de >.< so must practice practice practice. yes. hmph. stupid high notes. hate u. lolz =X hope by opus [if mr lim chooses this song which i dearly hope not] can play out. haha.

blehh. yehh. then went to lot 1 to have lunch mahz wif charles zeting clement yuting. haha. then. walked around. and bought a chocolate bar again >.< lolz. i'm mad le. lolz. yehh. then saw suhaila. she said hayati coming back next week if she didnt pass wateva test. hmm. lolz. then. erm. all my photo albums all with amalina mahz. then. its like. damn heavy lor. then must ma fan her. ahh. then finally found the sec 3s together. zhengjun was like carrying it lor. omg. poor zhengjun. sorri worx. must have been hard on u le. hope ur fingers dont hurt anymore =X lolz.. hmm. then like. went to our "gathering corner" to chat. then aileen and her group all came. lolz. hajar was with them mahz. then like. yehh. chat chat. yeh. we [sec 2s] decided to tell ghost stories on band camp nite. lolz. thx to charles lor. haha. EXCITED =D lolz. hmm. then yuting and suhaila bought back some chocolates and sweets for us. lolz. so nice. haha. then was like. everyone left le mahz. then so me and hajar walked around de whole of lot 1 mahz. then. on the way out. met aileen and the group again. with 2 guys. yehh. 17 and 18 years old de i think. yepz. the instructors during our adventure camp. haha. one of them looked so much like Lionel >.< but was named steven lar. haha. another one named richard lor. yeh. and amy was hitting off realli well with richard. *coughs* haha =X yehh. didnt know richard was the one who was going after my fren. haha. the world is so small. lolz. =X

yepz. at nite. kexin [sec 2] , jocelyn and hajar wanted to come to my house mahz. yepz. then in the end hajar couldnt make it . blehh. nvm. kexin and jocelyn came lorz. lolz. at first jocelyn couldnt find my house. turned out she got de wrong floor -.-" lolz. hmm. o man. then we watched show after show on tv. and laffed our heads off. lolz. yepz. tomolo going jocelyn hse =D haha. i'm so crazi. =D

yes . benjamin is torturing mi wif. RESIZING. wah laoo. haha. ok i'm not complaining. its fun anyway. lolz.

o no. my dad and sista out of singapore. >.<>// veri sorri worx. your hand ok bahz? =)

// xie xie for kit kat cubes. ^_^

// benjamin u owe me one. haha.

// tryingggg. but cannot -.- blehh.

yehh. its 11:15 pm. and NOW i'm going to have my DINNER. -.- wth. lolz.

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:27:00 PM

Monday, September 06, 2004

ahh. blehh. wat a day. haha. yess. i'm officially in love with English Folk Song Suite No.2 Intermezzo. omgg. the brasses and basses totally rawk. TOTALLY. juz listen to the tubas and euphoniums at the Tempo there. omg. chao ji nice. like. wahh. . shiok. =) think our band de lower brasses sounded so much better than the cd. got brass-y de sound. haha. =X

yepz. spent last nite. smsing. chatting with mummmyyy grace and daddy on the phone. then i was so mean. chat with grace on msn till her fingers hurt. sorri worx. haha. thx for listening to me say wateva i wan. yehh. u'r so nice =D btw. nahh. ur not mean. i'm the mean one. haah. and. ur on my "list". lolz. u know what i mean *winks*

hmm. shall not say wat happened last nite at bout 1am. hmm. those who know. shhhh. k? yepz. i didnt expect this oso. yehh. too sudden le. =( yehh. she juz left without telling mi bahz. lolz. sad. n i didnt give her all my hearts. lolz.

to [[hayati]] ::
yehh. hmm. i dont know what to say. i'm realli sorri. i knew that u were leaving singapore. but. i didnt know it was last nite. i didnt. i finally know why u gave me all the hugs and chocolate on saturday. and i thot u were juz having ur share of "fun". yepz. remember the hearts i folded and gave susu and ain? and i didnt give u one? u know why? coz i wanted to fold many many many hearts. and put them all in one box. then i would give u THAT box. yeh. and u juz left. without telling anyone. haiz. the box full of folded hearts shall be with me . till u come back to singapore . for our band's Opus. which i know u will come. hopefully wif raymond and others. yeh. u must enjoy yourself in australia ok? u must study hard. dont let down us seniors here. esp me, charles and the others u'r kinda close wif. yehh. i didnt know u were leaving so suddenly. when u gave me de hugs. i told u. i shall hug u back on monday. yet now. there is no monday. coz u r gone already. haiz. should have hugged u back straight. o well. remember to come back fer opus. u MUST. k? =) ppl out there. juz wanna say. treasure wat u have now =) serious.

yepz. went for band today. yehh. went through 1 or 2 songs. not bad bahz. mr lim was like hmm. kinda happi . then all of a sudden mad at some ppl. then happi again. weirddd. lolz. yehh. heard michelle play de sax. wahh. nice tone . lolz. hmm.

went to watch a movie with yuting and the seniors [sarah, eileen, yiin ying, wensheng and another gal name jieying i think] . yepz. we watched 13 going on 30 at causeway mahz. lolk =X the show. realli very very very nice. lolz. MUST WATCH!! lolz. o yeah. it was like. halfway through the show. there was like this part on the "bitchy gal" thingy . yar. then wensheng just said out loudly all of a sudden " BITCH." yarr. a lot of heads turned. look at him. and we kept laughing. lolz. yehh. he all of a sudden say lor. lolz =X hmm. yeh. i was like. munching on 2 chocolate snickers and Mars bar. blehh. feeling so sick now. haha. hope to catch cinderella story bahz. lolz. on the way home. met jia hui sec 4 and si xian ^_^ yehh. then on the train. dunno . like they all talking bout St Pats' de band boyz. lolz. =X shh. haha

hmm. now i'm not even sure whether hayati is gone anot. blehh. if she is. haiz. then . hmm. cant do much. oni can say. see u in opus =) .. if she's not. then =) haha.

// hmm. wont bahz.

// wahh. so bad. got mummy liaoz. still wan. TUTOR. *looks at the sky* no cookies for u.

lalalala. . band again tomolo. ahh. >.< practice No.3 Folk song suite. by tomolo. ahh. lolz. bb~~

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:30:00 PM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

o mann. i wan to cry. cry. cry. haiz. this is what Hayati posted on her blog ::

[[becky]]
i luv u... gonna miss those laughter wifout it... thanks fer all ur help thru tiz months n fer wifout u... i can never make it to band... u gave me encouragement... thanks fer havin faith in me... luv u... hope u like the hugs yesterdae... n the chocolate thing... hmmm.... a fwen whom can't b forgotten by the laughter that she bring to us... i luv u.... hmmm...

i'm so touched. yepz. hayati if you'r reading this. i just wanna tell u . that among all the sec 1s i know.. you'r actually one of my favourite gurlz. and i'm realli gonna miss u to bits when u'r in australia. u alwayz make me happi when i'm sad. =) and remember. all my secrets are with u. haha. =X shh. lolz. lurve u to bits and bits and bitsss. lolz. =) now i noe why u gave me so many hugs 2 days ago. aww. haha. yepz. and realli thx for the chocolate bar. u know i'm mad bout chocolate. yeh? lolz. tomorrow i shall buy u a chocolate bar and give u a hug too. =) *nods* and must remember me k =D lolz~ remember. i lurveeee u too . and so do de rest of our "diary" members. lolz. cheerios.

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:49:00 PM

sian diaozz. i think i'm going nuts. yes. nutty nuts. and its gonna become worse soon. wahaha.

argh. wanted to go marina der with church ppl. haiz. then couldnt go. mummy said. >.< nooo. so last minute mahz. haha. o well. sorri worx nic hannah and others. =( sorriii.

yepz. i m so nutty. i have to memorise soooo much for band exam this week. haha. band exam . lolz. i say until like. lolz. blehh. haha. hmm. dunno what to start with . haha. =X

o yes. i'm demanding >.< i'm a demanding gurl . but what can i do abt it. sheez. nothing to say. too tired.

afiqah is gonna be back soon le.. from trip . yess. hope she brought me something *prays* lolz

wahhah. then went to causeway point fer lessons today with sister. and guess who i saw. YES. wenyan grace jency wendy and the gang. yess. lolz =D so surprised to see them man. lolz. and they were like. BECKY!! or REBECCA!! lolz =X haha. then ya. went fer lessons. then after tt, my sister treated me to oreo mocha, chocolate donut and sushi. YES. my P5 SISTER. ahh. sobz. yes i know i'm poorrr. haha. lolz =X she got motive de izzittt. lolz. dunno her la. then met them AGAIN. lolz. so we all like yehh. wanted to go home together. yepz. my sister realli likes them. haha. esp cindy. coz cindy kept making her laugh. lolz =X haha. hmm. tired. lolz. sianz.

hmm. think the luo han fishes on my study desk realli like mi le. lolz. whenever i go near them they seem to get excited . i know what they wan. FOOD. haha. come onnn. they'r GROWING. lolz.

ahhh. lolz. now having conf with my mummy graceee and daddy. JAMES. wahhah. and they'r toking bout . COOKIES. -.- ahh. lolz =X so childish parents. lolz. =X andd. they'r suaning me. hmph. so bad. sobz.

// and she will be loved =)

// i waited all my life, for this moment to be mine =)

geez. band tomorrow. .. AND. i'm going to the movies... i'm going to the movies =D wifff. SARAH!!! =D *happy*

lost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:28:00 PM